how to fix a broken relationship after cheating

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Is it even possible to do this? How do you save a marriage after infidelity and lies? Do you ever get up in the morning and think, “Huh, I wonder if gravity’s on today.

Honey, can you check the gravity report?” No. Gravity is always on. And gravity always works on you.

What if you jump from the top of a tall building? What’s going to happen? Yeah, for sure, or maybe?Hmm.

Sometimes or every time? Yep. What if you’re standing at the top of that tall building and you’re thinking, “Gravity.Whatever.

I don’t believe in that. I’m not down with gravity.” And then you jump.

Same splat as the believers. Yeah, gravity doesn’t care if you believe in it or not.

It always pulls on you. I emphasize this right up front because principles determine all of life’s outcomes. Principles. No luck. Not magic. Principles determine all of life’s outcomes. So, what if we’ve had a relationship that’s characterized by infidelity and lies.

That’s a problem. What are we going to do with that? We got to get back to the principles. Principles determine all of life’s outcomes. And this is true no matter what. No matter what has happened.

if you are here, chances are you have been cheated or you’re a cheater. let me just validate you and say this is not an easy thing to work through.

it is actually a delicate subject and you want to be very cautious about who you allow to spean into it.

#1. family and friends.

when I say be careful about who you listen to, is because your family and your friends are going to want to protect you. They will tell you to absolutely leave that “a*****”. Everyone is gonna have a reason to protect you. after all, they care about you and value you.

that advice is not always helpful in fixing your relationship and if your relationship is going to work and last, then this advice is not helpful.

#2. commitment.

how to fix a broken relationship after cheating

when I say be careful about who you listen to, is because your family and your friends are going to want to protect you. They will tell you to absolutely leave that “a*****”. Everyone is gonna have a reason to protect you. after all, they care about you and value you.

If you’re the cheater or you have been cheated on, this is the most important question you have to ask yourself.

  • Am I committed to make this relationship work and rebuild
  • Do I really want to make this relationship work

because if you are the person who cheated, I’m gonna be honest with you, you are going to have to work hard and gain that trust back.

If you have been cheated on, the road for healing could be a very long road.

Now, just because someone cheated, doest mean the relationship is over and won’t work.

But to some people, that’s their boundary. And they say “once a person cheats am done” there’s no second chance in for them. that’s their choice to make and we have to honor their choice.

But if you are the person that cheated, know that building trust is obviously the most imminent thing you have to work on. obviously that’s a long process but the first thing that you have to do is

#3. Be an advocate and validate the pain you caused to their heart. 

you have to constantly go out of your way and say to them that “I am really sorry that I put you in this position”
“I am really sorry that I put our relationship in this situation”.

Do not wait for your partner or spouse to come and say these to you, be an advocate, and bring it up more often.

When you are the person that’s been cheated on, Let me just say, your VOICE really matters a lot.

You don’t really need to feel bad for discussing with your partner the pain the caused. in fact, that’s something they have to man-up or women up.

#4. apologize.

When you experiencing pain as the person whos been cheated on, and you want to say something, that’s your heart leaning voice.

If you don’t give your heart that voice, what happens is your heart will continue to carry that pain and never have an outlet to come out. the pain stays.

So while you may be hurting or broken over the cheating in the relationship, because you not giving the pain a voice, you may make the pain about you being a terrible father, mother, boyfriend, or girlfriend.terrible provider.

Instead of the actual reality which is – you’ve violated me, you betrayed me and you broke something secret between us and I am in deep pain. you have every right to voice out your pain.

If you’re the cheater, you need to be able to hear this pain and be able to speak with great empathy of saying
“I’m so sorry and shedding tears.”

Either way, if you’re the cheater or been cheated on, letting those tears come out in the middle of a conversation and allowing that venerability to be expressive is a great way of staring to build that relationship.

starting by being an advocate and giving them space to voice out their pain if you’re a cheater.

 #5. values.

This is the why behind a relationship. Having a shared set of values and purpose for the relationship in the first place.

  • Why did you get married in the first place
  • Why did you get together with this person

Well, that’s tapping into the values so we’re talking about.

Sometimes life beats us up a little bit and we forget why we started this thing in the first place.

Renew your familiarity with the values.

#6. Forgiveness.

Big surprise, right? Stuff happens. We hurt each other. Forgiveness is the healing gift that we can give ourselves that allows us to move past the hurt and continue to apply the principles that are going to improve this thing in the first place.

I had a colleague once shared with me that forgiveness is giving up your demand for a better past.

I like that. Let’s stop digging up the history and beating each other up with it. Maybe you can move forward with the spirit of forgiveness that will empower your relationship

I really do believe that this can work and you can rebuild your relationship.

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how to get your ex back after a bad breakup😢.