Love and compassion are two common human needs.no matter how smart or attractive, the person is, when someone tells you that you’re great, you are extremely happy to spend time with them. control freaks are frequently kind and charismatic, which tends to cause problems. It is difficult to grasp their motivations at the beginning, but they choose you as they know you are vulnerable and will manipulate you.
Today we’re gonna go through what to do if you’re married to a control freak. I want you to understand that control freaks can be men or women.
I also want you to understand that when you need a control freak, you may not know it and that’s because they seduce people. They look for people who are harmonious who will go along maybe a little bit passive.
those are the kind of people control freaks choose to control and if you are married to one then you have to do something about it because your passive behavior otherwise will continue to feed this monster of control.
#1. Find a therapist
The first thing I want you to do when you’re married to a control freak is I want you to find a therapist. I want you to talk to a therapist or a minister who can help guide you.
You’re gonna need the emotional support and you’re also going to need to be empowered and having a therapist or a trained professional help you with this is going to make it much more likely that you’re successful.
#2. Confront your controller.
Secondly, I want you to confront your controller. that’s right. When I say confront them I mean the next time they blame or criticize you, I want you to tell them outright listen “I don’t like it when you talk to me that way I am a human I demand respect”,
That’s all you need to say. you are letting your control freak know you’re not gonna put up with this and you’re doing it in a very
- direct, honest,
way of communication. You’re not using passive-aggressive measures. You’re not crying you’re not throwing something you’re telling them directly.
#3. Work on your self-esteem.
Thirdly, I want you to work on your self-esteem. It is so important because if you’re married to a control freak- what ends up happening is you’re blamed for everything. You’re criticized for everything. why? because they can’t take any blame. They never say they’re sorry. They honestly never believe anything is their fault.
#4. Reach out to family and friends.
Fourthly, I want you to reach out to family and friends. There’s a very good chance your family and friends knew this person was a control freak and didn’t want you to marry them in the first place. Now is the time for the more people you let into your inner circle.
The better it’s gonna be the less you’re hiding the more open you are the better the more healthy you are
#5. Give your control freak an ultimatum
Lastly, I want you to give your control freak an ultimatum. That means you go to them and you directly say “I am willing to work on this relationship for six months or a year but I am no longer going to do it all on my own”, “I am NOT going to be in a relationship by myself if you can’t be a responsible partner and own your part then this relationship is over”, and you stick by it you said that that was direct.
This is going to put you in a position of control and that’s very important to help you follow through with what the therapist or the minister are guiding you within.Don’t forget renovating relationships is about really exploring and understanding yourself fixing your relationships rather than throwing them away because you didn’t know how to fix them and we all know everybody’s searching for happiness.
The key to happiness is a great relationship. great relationships help build great families, great kids, helping to build great schools great communities, and ultimately a great society.